I’ve been in this phase of asking “why?” I want to know myself deeper. I often feel how I am shaped and molded from outside myself. This includes individuals, societal expectations, media, and forces I don’t recognize.

“What truly is mine? What do I believe? Who am I? This brings me to tears. In some aspects, there are these core pieces to me that I don’t know about, that I didn’t and wouldn’t choose.”

Fate as it turns out answered this questions in a way I did not seem coming.

“People have difficulty awakening to their iner world especially when their lives have become overly familiar to them. They find it hard to discover something new, interesting, or adventurous in their numbed lives. Yet everything we need for our journey has already been given to us. Consequently, there is greate strangeness in the shadowed light of our sould world. We should become more conversant with our reserved soul-light. The first step in awkaening to your inner life and to the depth and promise of your solitude would be to consider yourself for alittle while as a stranger to your own deepest depths. To decide to view yourself as a complete stranger, someone who has just stepped ashore in your life, is a liberating exercise…You realize that you are not the helpless owner of a deadened life but rather a temporary guest gifted with blessing and possibilities you could neither invent nor earn.”

It’s all about the lens through which you see the world. It’s all about the light you decide to shade incoming information with. I unknowingly decided that not knowing who I am was a bad thing. However, a quick change of glasses gave me the perspective that not knowing who I am is the ultimate gift. In that quest, I get the adventure of a lifetime, exploring my inner world and exploring how that inner world interacts with the inner worlds of those around me.

Is this why we get restless in life? We have become complacent in how we see the people around us, and/or the people around us do not see us in our evolution.